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Article #77: Taliban Infiltrates South Dakota Legislature

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Where are the last vestiges of Nut, SD made several lucrative donations
Afghanistan's Taliban leaders hiding? Are across party lines to illustrate his new
they cowering in caves near the Pakistani found love of Catholicism and loathing of
border? Perhaps they own a condo complex the US Constitution.
in Karachi. More likely they are on a As the controversy rages, America's sons
Dude Ranch in America's Heartland. and daughters die and kill in Iraq. For
Remember 1994? Religious fundamentalists what? To protect America from religious
overtook Afghanistan and trounced on that fanatics hell-bent on destroying
nation's women with a vengeance. Being individual freedoms this country was
draped in a burga and beaten in the founded on. At least, that is what we are
streets was standard fair. Most doctors told. Yet, the US Army has not even begun
were banned from treating women, and reconnaissance operations around
voting - no way! Deadwood.
Is history repeating itself? Last week in Meanwhile, in Pierre, Governor Mike
South Dakota religious fundamentalists rounds added his input. "In the history
passed a measure making it a felony for of the world, the true test of a
doctors to perform any abortion, except civilization is how well people treat the
to save the life of a pregnant woman. No most vulnerable and most helpless in
exceptions are made in cases of rape or their society. The sponsors and
incest. There was no state wide vote. supporters of this bill believe that
Déjà vu! abortion is wrong because unborn children
Help for victims of religious extremism are the most vulnerable and most helpless
in Afghanistan was slow to come. persons in our society. I agree with
Ultimately, refugee camps sprang up along them," Rounds said in a statement.
the borders and women's rights When asked if perhaps a pregnant
organizations broadcasted messages of 12-year-old girl raped by her uncle might
support into the occupied country via be a touch more vulnerable than a
short wave radio. Response to occupied pin-sized glob of splitting embryonic
South Dakota's oppression is already cells, Rounds responded by trying to sell
being mounted. Refugee camps are this reporter a new auto insurance
springing up along borders with Dakota's policy. The policy came complete with the
more open-minded neighbors, such as new SD mandated Terrorist Assault Vehicle
Mormonville, Nebraska and Laramie, Insurance attachment for an additional
Wyoming. Citizens of Redecktown, Missouri $10.00 per month. My own government now
are collection CB radios to airdrop has a 78 Yugo better protected than my
around Mount Rushmore. uterus.
South Dakota's female population has had As for the money that will be wasted
a mixed reaction to this Red States fighting this rights-slapping legislation
recent horrific legislation. When to the Supreme Court, the legislature has
Republican Kellie Clueless was asked her laid out a plan sell off more of the
opinion of legislative leaders forcing Black Hills to special interest
their will on the intimate lives of free corporations in order to finance this
American women she said, "Ah um da." loosing battle.
Antiabortion activist, Betty Sue Yes, it would appear the missing Taliban
Backwoods was interviewed in the bikini have been found. Religious fanaticism is
wax isle at a Sioux Falls Wal Mart. Betty alive and well in South Dakota. Privacy,
Sue was quoted as saying, "I think Rep. individuality and freedom are D.O.A.
Roger W. Hunt is a stone-cold fox and I Perhaps National Guard troops should be
thank God he puts my religion over searching Jewel Cave in the Black Hills
everyone else's beliefs. That's what for Osama Bin Laden. It is suspicious
makes America what it is to day." Then that Governor Mike Rounds and Mr. Bin
she tossed her six children into the cart Laden have never been seen together in
and sprinted off to check the balance on public. Could they be one in the same?
her EBT card. With each mystery answered a new question
Surprisingly, one well known Democrat arises. For example, when wearing our
supported the bill outright. Dr denim burgas would South Dakota's
Wantmoremoney, owner of the Back Alley legislators prefer we women place rodeo
Abortion and Penicillin Clinic, in Pine buckles on the inside or out?






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