An American Journey: Disasters On Vacation

A year after getting married, my wife and I embarkedoutside of the car- I am not joking. Lesson number
on what I consider an epic journey. We packed ourtwo: Do not entirely believe what you read in
new Sunfire up with camping gear and headed Eastbrochures.
from the sheltered valleys of British Columbia acrossThe density of the mosquito population was so
the prairies. Our goal was Montreal, and from there weextreme that even though it was already almost dark,
would head south to Indiana and then back Westwe realized that we could not stay there. Instead, we
through the United States. We planned to camp alongdrove a while longer and finally arrived in Ontario. We
the way, in order to save money. Our vacation wasate supper at a restaurant and then realized it was
an interesting one. I would not term it a disaster, butway too late to find and set up camp, so we found a
there were several significant events along the wayrest stop and decided to sleep in the car. Lesson
that led me to realize several key facts about planningnumber three: A six foot two frame does not sleep
and implementing a big trip, which I would like to sharewell in the driver's seat of a Pontiac Sunfire. I decided
in this article.to climb in the back, which led to lesson number four:
Our first trials came as we left the mountains of myAlways check what you are lying on, no matter how
youth and descended into the treeless prairies.late. I discovered in the morning that I had slept on top
Treeless is significant, as we realized on our first stopof the pancake syrup and the dish soap, which had
that there was no wood available at the campsites forboth spilled their entire contents all over the car. An
fires, beyond a couple of old fence posts.attempt to scrub the syrup out resulted in the
Saskatchewan, therefore, saw us dining on coldformation of lots of bubbles. Our car to this day still
canned food. Lesson number one: Know the foliage ofsmells like syrup and soap.
your destination and plan accordingly. The buffalo haveThe remainder of the trip through Canada went well,
vanished and therefore the old pioneer fuel of chips isalthough I will say that the roads in Ontario are
no longer an option.seriously lacking when it comes to planning. The
The next night, we consulted our travel brochure forgreatest disasters on the trip came on the way back
sites in Manitoba. Manitoba has trees, so firewood wasEast through the United States, and involved a severe
not an issue. We found a site that advertised plenty ofaltercation with a border guard, weather the likes of
firewood, spacious spots, and working showers. Whatwhich I had never heard of in Minnesota, a biker rally in
it did not advertise was the fact that it was located onSouth Dakota, and a forest fire in Wyoming. The
a recently flooded river, which upon returning to itsbiggest lesson I learned on the whole trip was that it is
banks had left a highly fertile breeding ground forabsolutely essential to plan ahead when it comes to a
mosquitoes. I have never seen so many of thesevacation.
insects in my entire life- you could hear them buzzing