| A year after getting married, my wife and I | | | | my entire life- you could hear them buzzing |
| embarked on what I consider an epic journey. | | | | outside of the car- I am not joking. Lesson |
| We packed our new Sunfire up with camping | | | | number two: Do not entirely believe what you |
| gear and headed East from the sheltered | | | | read in brochures. |
| valleys of British Columbia across the | | | | |
| prairies. Our goal was Montreal, and from | | | | The density of the mosquito population was so |
| there we would head south to Indiana and then | | | | extreme that even though it was already |
| back West through the United States. We | | | | almost dark, we realized that we could not |
| planned to camp along the way, in order to | | | | stay there. Instead, we drove a while longer |
| save money. Our vacation was an interesting | | | | and finally arrived in Ontario. We ate supper |
| one. I would not term it a disaster, but | | | | at a restaurant and then realized it was way |
| there were several significant events along | | | | too late to find and set up camp, so we found |
| the way that led me to realize several key | | | | a rest stop and decided to sleep in the car. |
| facts about planning and implementing a big | | | | Lesson number three: A six foot two frame |
| trip, which I would like to share in this | | | | does not sleep well in the driver's seat of a |
| article. | | | | Pontiac Sunfire. I decided to climb in the |
| | | | back, which led to lesson number four: Always |
| Our first trials came as we left the | | | | check what you are lying on, no matter how |
| mountains of my youth and descended into the | | | | late. I discovered in the morning that I had |
| treeless prairies. Treeless is significant, | | | | slept on top of the pancake syrup and the |
| as we realized on our first stop that there | | | | dish soap, which had both spilled their |
| was no wood available at the campsites for | | | | entire contents all over the car. An attempt |
| fires, beyond a couple of old fence posts. | | | | to scrub the syrup out resulted in the |
| Saskatchewan, therefore, saw us dining on | | | | formation of lots of bubbles. Our car to this |
| cold canned food. Lesson number one: Know the | | | | day still smells like syrup and soap. |
| foliage of your destination and plan | | | | |
| accordingly. The buffalo have vanished and | | | | The remainder of the trip through Canada went |
| therefore the old pioneer fuel of chips is no | | | | well, although I will say that the roads in |
| longer an option. | | | | Ontario are seriously lacking when it comes |
| | | | to planning. The greatest disasters on the |
| The next night, we consulted our travel | | | | trip came on the way back East through the |
| brochure for sites in Manitoba. Manitoba has | | | | United States, and involved a severe |
| trees, so firewood was not an issue. We found | | | | altercation with a border guard, weather the |
| a site that advertised plenty of firewood, | | | | likes of which I had never heard of in |
| spacious spots, and working showers. What it | | | | Minnesota, a biker rally in South Dakota, and |
| did not advertise was the fact that it was | | | | a forest fire in Wyoming. The biggest lesson |
| located on a recently flooded river, which | | | | I learned on the whole trip was that it is |
| upon returning to its banks had left a highly | | | | absolutely essential to plan ahead when it |
| fertile breeding ground for mosquitoes. I | | | | comes to a vacation. |
| have never seen so many of these insects in | | | | |